Perfect Grammar In An Imperfect Language -- Is It Possible?

A double celebration today! In Canada it’s Thanksgiving (Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian friends!) And here in the US, it’s Columbus Day. Since both countries are commemorating events with roots that go back hundreds of years, I was thinking about what conversations must have sounded like in earlier times. Can you imagine yourself in the midst of a dinner in 1492 or 1578? However would you get someone to “pass the potatoes?” :-)

When you think about the melting pot of cultures we have in our two countries, it’s no wonder the English language is so crazy! Latin, Greek, German, Norwegian, Spanish, French, Indian, Asian – virtually every every language on earth has contributed to the development of English s we know it today. And that brings us to a question that seems perfect for this doubly special day – from subscriber Lisa Reddell:

“Is there a guide somewhere online that has the rules (of grammar)? For instance, what makes a word possessive? What makes a word contractive? Are commas supposed to be used after ‘and’ in a sentence?”

Great question Lisa and I do have a resource or two for you. :-) But first I’d like to share a cute little poem that I came across some time ago. It describes the complexity of the English language far better than my words ever could:

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese,

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen? If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

The one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, she and him but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

So English I fancy, you will agree is the craziest language you ever did see! -- Anonymous

Hope that got a smile out of everyone. Now time to get serious again. There are a number of not just okay, but top notch resources to help us all with English grammar and usage. Here are my three favorites:

“Common Errors in English” by Paul Brians has subjects listed alphabetically – AM/PM to your/you’re. There is also a published version of this book. Click here: Common Errors in English

“Guide to Grammar and Writing” also has subjects listed alphabetically – ‘a, an’ to ‘zero articles’ (which, by the way, does not mean that you won’t find articles to read!) You can go to a slot called “word and sentence level,” click and get a comprehensive list of subjects to choose from, including capitalization, sentence parts, punctuation, subject/verb agreement – if you don’t find it here, I suspect you won’t find it anywhere. Click here: Guide to Grammar and Writing

“The Elements of Style” by William Strunk, Jr. is a classic copywriter’s tool. While a bit older and perhaps not as slick in presentation as the two above, it is comfortable to work with and easy to understand -- kind of like a favorite old pair of shoes: Click here: Strunk, William, Jr. 1918. The Elements of Style

If anyone out there knows of any other websites you’d like to add to the list, by all means let us know. Meanwhile, I think you’re pretty well covered. Whatever you’re doing today – celebrating, working or anything else -- I wish you a wonderful day. Next week a look at the subject of copyrights. And that, my friends, is today’s last word. Have a great week!

Phyllis Schwartz is a longtime copywriter with a career background in Direct Mail and Promotional Advertising. Whether you need a sales letter for your home page, keyword optimized web content, articles, emails or direct mail copy, Phyllis is the one to call. For a full listing of copywriting services check out the BetterCopywriting Menu Page right here at: BetterCopywriting.com.

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